I want to share something with you that happens to me every time I go to bed.
When I shut the lights off, it’s like all these whispers are suddenly allowed to seep out of the darkness of my subconscious and whisper in my ear, “You aren’t good enough. No one is gonna like what you write. It’s not worth it. Who are you kidding? You’ll never be able to finish it.” All the what-ifs suddenly become very real worries.
If you’re anything like me, these types of discouraging letters written from your mind may make you want to give up—give up before you embarrass yourself further. Maybe it’s not even when you lay down to sleep. The other day, I had to teach myself how to make a website. Let me tell you, after a week of stress, being overwhelmed at what buttons to push, and a desire to curl up on the couch and cry, I wanted to quit right there. The negative side of me rolled its eyes and snapped, “If you can’t even figure out a simple website, how will you figure out marketing and self-publishing? You are no genius! Just quit now before you’re shamed off of social media.”
When I fail at something or take forever to learn something new, it discourages me. I bet it discourages you too. But God doesn’t want us to throw in the towel when things get tough. He wants us to be hard workers and diligent. Worrying about the future does no good. The Bible says in Matthew 6:24:
“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
And in Philippians 4:8 God tells us what we should focus on:
“Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things.”
When I actually listen to God and focus on just today’s problems, I am less stressed. When I tell my husband about all the worries, what-ifs, and negativity invading my brain, I’ll quickly realize many of the thoughts I have are lies. Lies don’t survive in the light. What-ifs survive only in the dark recesses of your mind. Once you let it out, either by telling someone or praying to God, the lies come out and get squashed so much easier.
Now you’re probably thinking, “Sounds great, Megan, but it’s not so easy to stay positive.” I never said it was easy, but it is possible to train yourself so you have more of a fighting chance the next time those dark whispers attack. Here are a couple suggestions that have helped me and I hope they help you too.
Pray
God is the father of truth, so it only makes sense to ask Him for help, right? Especially if you don’t have many people to talk to about all the issues you’re dealing with, or you just hate being vulnerable with people like me, then praying to God is a great way to kick the lies into the light. God not only wants us to be positive, He commands it in 1st Thessalonians 5:16-18:
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Yes, I understand that not everyone prays to God, and not everyone believes in Jesus. But I would strongly encourage you to consider it, because all the advice I have shared with you won’t help as much without an all mighty God by your side. It’s like me saying, “Just drive from New York to California,” and I give you a rusty engine. Sure you can get…somewhere, but you’ll never hit that finish line. You can steer all you want, but without God’s “engine”, you won’t get far.
Distractions
So, you know what I do whenever negative thoughts keep me up at night, and I don’t have the mental energy to pray? I drown out the whispers with music or an audible book. Sometimes, I even put on a show just to get my mind on something else. Though, if you’re gonna open your eyes to distract yourself, reading a book will do that AND you won’t be staring at a screen that activates your brain.
In the day, if I start getting down on myself, I will try to pray for other people. Guys, this works really well! The reason it works is, you are forcing your attention on someone else besides yourself. You are emptying your worry cup and replacing it with thinking of others. Many people just try to empty their cup, but if you don’t have something positive to fill it with, the negativity comes back with a furry.
One time, I was really stressing about finishing the rough draft to my novel in time for a self-imposed deadline. Reflexively, I prayed for a dear friend of mine who was really struggling, then an injured family member, and so on. Before I knew it, my anxiety and negativity had melted away. Why? I realized the people I was praying for had more reason to be worried than I did. When you think of others, you will have more joy.
J.O.Y: Jesus, Others, You.
I’m not saying that your worries and anxiety mean nothing. They still exist, and you may have a valid reason to be negative. But worrying and focusing on negativity does nothing but hurt you. It’s no fun being so afraid of tomorrow that you can’t enjoy today. Don’t let the lies take away your joy.
Fight the lies
Lies don’t just disappear, they need to be fought with the truth. If you have the mental energy to fight, do it! The next time you hear in your head, “It’s gonna take you at least four hours to finish this project, so why even start.”, argue with yourself. No, not out loud like a crazy person, silly. Question that negative statement.
“Is it really going to take me four hours? And even if it does, why does that mean it’s not worth trying? I can get a lot done in an hour, so I should!” Don’t let your negative side bully you. I have no patience or mercy for bullies. So PUNCH that bully in the face and tell it to scram.
Do I know I will be an utter failure as a writer? No. Do I know I’ll never be able to finish my book because I’m crazy busy? No. Is there a possibility I fail? Yes, but for now, it’s best to focus on the positive and finish what I started. It does no good to feed the dark whispers—that’s how they get louder and harder to ignore.
I encourage you, in whatever you are working on—whether that be writing, a new project, a new hobby or goal—do your best and forget the rest. Focus on the truth of the moment. Make sure God is pleased with what you are doing, then do it!
So I’v shared some of my issues lol, but I’m curios to know about yours. When do you have the hardest time fighting your own negativity? What helps you the most to stay positive and shut out the dark whispers? Feel free to share below!
I am a professional cartoonist, who constantly struggles with feelings of stress and fear of the unknown or the possibility of doing something imperfect. Thank you for writing this! It was a great reminder for what really matters. The here and now, and the Lord who governs it all.
Wow, well said! Yes, it’s not worth it to stress. As my husband says, “God’s got your six.”